Back to the Doctor

Today we go see the doctor to find out what path to choose. I am a mess. Every time I go, he has more bad news. I am worried today that he will have nothing good to say. I hate this adventure.

It's also picture day. I have gained so much weight that I will look like I ate these kindy kids. I have no good clothing options as its going to suddenly be summer today! I am frustrated and it's barely seven am.

Crazy day ahead!

Nope...not this month

So I didn't need a blood test this month. My body let me know that the IUI didn't work.
My heart is broken. I don't understand why it has to be a struggle and sadness. Does god not want me to be a mom? Why?
It's thanksgiving and I am thankful for all I have, especially a husband I love and family and friends who make my life whole - but I am sad that I could not be celebrating my gratitude for creating life. I am so sad.
We are taking time off. I don't know how long - I don't know what I can continue to put myself through. I am a mess and I need to decide what happens next.