Ranting and Raving....

Here it is!! My very first blog.  I have officially entered the 21st century, albeit under crappy circumstances.  Right now, I feel like my primary students writing a journal...only in mine I can use expletives and tell it like it really is!  I am hoping not to have to use too many colourful words, but hey, this is an adventure!

We have entered into the world of fertility treatment.  It's a strange and frustrating world - one that holds some promise of hope and joy, knowing in the end, if all works out, we will have a little one, or ones of our own.  In the meantime...IT SUCKS!

We are at the beginning of this road.  It is exciting and terrifying to say the least. I am a hotbed of emotions and I have decided to blog because I need to be able to say what I think and share it - even if it is just with a big empty hole of cyberspace! Every time I talk about my fears, my anxiety, my questions with the well meaning people around me - I am met with judgement ("You need to calm down") or suggestions ("If you relax it will happen") or I am told I am doing it/thinking about it/talking about it in all the wrong ways ("You're so negative, it will never work if you aren't positive").  So I say eff that! I hate being criticised for just talking about the amazing emotional roller coaster I am on.

I need this blog.  I need to rant, and rage, and cry, and scream IN CAPITAL LETTERS, and I need to celebrate, and curse, and let it all out - hopefully without the fear that I am always wrong. So I begin.  If you are reading this...thank you! Brace yourself, I have a feeling this will be a rocky ride.

xc